Showing posts with label Costumes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Costumes. Show all posts

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween 2: Revenge of the Costumes

Halloween 2: Revenge of the Costumes

So it's Friday and I'm still a little on the fence on what my halloween costume should be. Given that there's always parties and what not this weekend, it's just a matter of time that has run out on me.

I mean, every year it's pretty last minute what I choose to actually go as. There's always the classic fall back options that require little to no actual work in preparing. Clark Kent is an easy one since I just toss on a Superman shirt under a button up and with my glasses it's pretty much sold itself. Then there's always Super boy.. which is just my other nerd shirt with jeans. Yeah.. that's tough.


More proof that Bill Maher has never done anything funny

But what if I want to be edgy? There's always the crossdressing option. It's really the only socially acceptable outlet for it. Hey, if women can dress up like slutty whores on this holiday, why can't men gay it up a little, I say! One weekend a year, no one gives you shit for putting on woman's clothing. All you have to do is go as something shockingly offensive, but have it be "ironic" so it's A-okay!

I think that a good Halloween costume should be easily recognizable by your standard party goer drunk at least 10 feet away from you, otherwise you're going to spend the entire night explaining what exactly you are. I think this may be the reason why women just don't wear a lot for the holiday. Why bother? People don't typically ask you what you are when your tits are hanging out. They just drool over your tits. Saves you a lot of time explaining away some poor choice at the costume shop.



Like, I originally wanted to go as a "whore", but, to no surprise they only had "slutty whore" at the costume shop. I mean.. what the fuck? Who said I wanted to look slutty when I'm dressed like a cross dressing whore?

I love yandy.com, its also home to: Sexy Grim Reaper, Sexy Polar Bear, Sexy Big Bird, Sexy Hugh Hefner (as well as dozens of more traditional Playboy costumes), Sexy Pacman, Sexy Snowman, Sexy Jason Voorhees, Sexy Beer Mug, Sexy Lady Pimp, Sexy Viking, Sexy Willy Wonka, Sexy Ninja Turtle. i dont even know which one of these to bold for emphasis they're all ridiculous



Why is female Freddy such a moron that she'd cut her own shirt? Fuck'n women can't do anything right. This is just terrible. Ooooh wait. It's to show off some skin. Man, I completely forgot that you had to "Sexy" up any costume. Even if it's a costume of a board game...



Yup, you guessed it.. Sexy Scrabble. Nothing turns me on like a triple word score.. with her! Boooyah! I'm just glad I can't read the words they're making out on her stomach. I'd probably get some sort of aspergers rage at the fact that they don't have proper letter allotment. I mean, you'd have to have more than one X to make up words like XOXO and I'm sure the other words on there are shit like LUST and BITE or TICKLE. No one would play those words as they aren't worth that much points.

The problem here is that the kind of women they get to model the outfits and actually look good in them don't need those outfits to show off how good they look. I'm pretty sure you could do a sexy quadriplegic and the model will be way hotter than she should be.

Recall that one picture of a "Sexy Ghost Buster" from the previous Halloween costume blog a day or two ago? Let's look at the picture of how it looks on an actual model..



How embarrassing it must be for her to walk around like that... What with her proton pack being upside down and all. Just more proof that these costumes only really look good on those who otherwise would look good anyway.

Besides that, everyone's doing sexy outfits. Though I once spent Halloween in a brothel and that was the one night no one was dressed up sexy. You know what's even more comical about all those "Sexy" costumes? The costumes based on historical sex workers like Moulin Rouge dancer, Geisha, and Saloon girl tend to be the ones that show the least amount of skin.

But hey, this next costume is a great one if you're a fan of David Lynch...



Even though I have to say that a skimpy ski uniform seems a little nonsensical even for sexy Halloween costume standards.

I also don't want to go as a couples costumes. I find those to be some of the worse war crimes possible to humanity. They're so awful in every possible way. There's nothing more awkward than having to deal with a couple in a matching costume short of having to actually stand there while they make out.

They're so obnoxious in both their choice of clothing as well as their manner they carry themselves as a costumed couple. Why don't they just go home and make out in the closet or something. What purpose does it have to show off how much in love you are that you're willing to dress in matching attire? All it really does is make it so that when you break up, that year's Halloween costume is forever gone in both pictures and mention.



Then there's the idea of just cranking out the anime to a full 11 on the dial and going in a full on Neon Genesis pilot suit...

But back to my situation. I think it's a matter of making it so that people actually get what or who I am. I once told my friends I was shooting to go as Trotsky and they had no fucking idea who that was. It was a clear indication that I possibly needed new friends.

So lets take a look at the popular choices for costumes most years...


Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm just going to be a drunk for Halloween. Potentially a groper. Depends on how much of a drunk I end up being. Yup sir, that sounds about right. Or maybe I will just dress up as a secular, rational human being who doesn't buy into a commercialized Pagan holiday turned into an excuse to slut it up and chug till I'm piss drunk.

Or I'll just be Donnie Darko.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Halloween - Dress Like A Whore

Halloween - Dress Like A Whore Day

Did you think that you would get by a Halloween season without me making my annual "Halloween is a free pass for women to dress like whores" rant? Well then, you obviously don't know me well enough. Why yes, it is indeed the time of year when you are allowed to dress like Meg Whitman...



But seriously, why does everyone dress like a whore on Halloween? Well, okay - not everyone. Guys can't get away with it unless they're going to the West Hollywood Halloween celebration.

Maybe I'm just looking at this whole thing wrong. Maybe this is just the final goodbye to the male gaze as we are approaching winter and, well.. we all know that the sun dresses and other revealing clothing gets put away this time of year. So Halloween ends up being that last goodbye to the patriarchy. The final curtain call where you can sadly see curtains....


I don't recall Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter having his tits hang out?

But perhaps the reason this feels so wrong is because it seems to have been jumped all over by capitalism in the worse way. You end up paying more for a flimsy little piece of fabric than you would for much more coverage.

I wondered why but then I looked up Costumes for women and sure enough, "sexy costumes" are nothing more than reclassified sexy lingerie. Yandy.com is a website which I guess is normally for sexy lingerie, in essence, shit to spice up your bed room relationship issues and explore fetishes and it's clear that they realized that something you'd wear to get it on is pretty much easily crossed over to something you'd wear to show off your body in public.

To say their site had a few odd choices would be an understatement, but in the name of comedy and for something to write about, let's take a look.



I'm not exactly sure who that appeals to? I mean, are left overs left overs for a reason? How much does it boost the self esteem of a girl to dress up as something you toss in the fridge and potentially only eat it if you have no other options later.

I have a fortune for you, you will be ignored for a week and then tossed out after your bad smell is discovered. Lucky numbers 2, 4, 18, 23, 64.


Who you gonna call? Perhaps a seamstress to sow up that top.

Is it even like a geisha like design? I mean, I have a thing for Chinese pattern dresses, but is this giant leftovers box suppose to turn me on? I also like the well placed "THANK YOU". You know someone's getting down tonight! And without the need to verbally thank the other person after as they could just read it right there.

The site is also like many other stores this time of year in that they're already gearing up for Christmas, as it features this excellent Santa Claus costume that any young child will want to give their wish list to.



On a side note, I believe Santa Clause is more real than anything on that girl's body. But fake holiday character costumes aren't the only thing you can find here. I would be completely sad if I didn't mention sexy female george washington (Who wouldn't want to fore score with her?)

I would like to request a sexy Leon Trotsky be made as well. Garter belt not necessary. Then there's other selections that I really have to question if this site is just some soft core porn site for those who don't have a credit card to enter a real porn site and for those who don't know how to use bittorrent to just download it.

I mean, how the fuck is this a costume and not just an example of the male gaze?


I guess it's just one of a few separate foundation garments they sell to be used as part of a costume. Like hey, check out this tutu-style petticoat they're selling! You can match it with... well, shit. I don't even know what you could match a tutu with and not look like a silly attention whore.

Don't you dare go to a Halloween party without one of these fabulous accessories



and who doesn't like shoes? They sure seem to have a shit ton of them there.

This next one transcends into the new world of Hipster Indians, which I finally saw first hand at Fat Tire's Tour De Fat the other weekend. But sure enough, nothing says classy as sexifying the native people of this land..



I honestly can not tell whether that's purely digital or a heavily heavily airbrushed photograph to the point of having the skin match the costume so much that it looks like she's draping flesh.

I'm not even sure how they got to the point of thinking like dressing up as an Indian would be a good idea. I mean, we oppressed their people, took their land, killed them off in droves and then stuck them in casinos. It seems that it's only adding insult to injury to make Halloween costumes mocking them, or at least stealing their identity and putting it on some college age white girl.



In fact, the only thing I could think of to say about that one is that I'm sure there's many people who would want to give her small pox.

I'm not even sure what this next costume is trying to suggest or even how much sense it even makes. As far as I could tell it's just dressing up like a giant female remote control



Nothing says female empowerment like a giant mute button over one breast and a power button over the other. Oh hey, what's that? You can turn up and down the volume of good and bad girl. Why gee, I wonder what I will choose in terms of bad girl. You don't want to bump it up too high, or you'll get the snapping finger

I'm also not sure why you would need a forward and reverse for Hotness. Is there such a thing as someone saying "Whoa there, you're waaaay too hot now, let me rewind you back a little and ugly you up." I can't even make out what the bottom buttons are for.



Just look at that battery on her back. How empowering, I must say! But now that you made up your mind as to what you will wear, what's next? Well it's time to figure out where you're going to show off your small article of clothing, of course!

The standard answer if you're like me in Los Angeles would be to hit up the West Hollywood parade. But that in itself is a nightmare of unimaginable proportions. Just look at the street closures and traffic circus involved..
the city relaxes its strict parking permit enforcement citywide (in some areas, not displaying a permit means more than a ticket, it means a tow) between 5 p.m. on Halloween to 6 a.m. Monday morning. Parking meters, however, will be enforced and the city warns that because it shares a sometimes tricky border with Los Angeles, make sure you read all parking signs (clue: most all L.A. street signs say "City of Los Angeles" at the bottom in small letters).

The event officially goes from 6 to 11 p.m. Below are the street closures and public parking locations ($15 to $20):

Street Closures

  • Santa Monica Boulevard between Doheny Drive and La Cienega Boulevard including all side streets from 12 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • Robertson Boulevard between Melrose Avenue and Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • San Vicente Boulevard between Cynthia Street and Melrose Avenue from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • La Peer Drive eastbound turn lane onto Santa Monica Boulevard from 12 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Sunday, November 1, 2010.
  • Santa Monica Boulevard between La Cienega Boulevard and Holloway Drive/Croft Avenue from 4 p.m. Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • La Cienega Boulevard between Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.
  • Sunset Boulevard eastbound and westbound turn lanes onto La Cienega Boulevard from 4 p.m., Sunday, October 31 through 6 a.m., Monday, November 1, 2010.


Yes sir, that is one hell of a nightmare for anyone that lives anywhere near Santa Monica Blvd or the West Hollywood area. You really want nothing to do with that area for the whole Sunday through Monday morning aspect of things.

What exactly are you getting yourself into in that endeavor? A lot of body parts hanging out and since it's centered in a gay community, you know the inhibitions just go out the window. So of course you'll be seeing more costumes that would get you arrested for public indecency. But then again, it wouldn't be Halloween without that, right?



The main problem other than the awful parking, which in my mind is reason enough to skip out on it, is that happens is you and your friends wander around West Hollywood in a very slow moving shuffle with the rest of the folks out there in a vain attempt to figure out which bars or clubs you're going to try to get into to justify this trip to West Hollywood's madness.

Police force, while relaxed in terms of parking, is going to be way up in police check points and other inconvenient means. It's also a Sunday. Most folks actually have to work the next morning. I know I do. So staying out late doesn't seem like such a great idea. Nor does drinking till you can't remember. This is why I'm sure that most parties will be on Friday or Saturday this year... in some cases - Both!



Or you could take the drive 90 miles out to Santa Barbara for Isla Vista's little Halloween Parade which has the benefit that it's invaded by the masses of the local College UCSB. Which if you were in the younger demographic would be perfect material to pick up on that "Sexy Nurse" that crosses your path or that "Sexy bloody chick". You never know until you try your luck, right?

I've been to Both and I have to say that I had a lot better time in UCSB. The party scene, well.. when I was a good 6-7 years younger was more suited for my style and it was less of a mad house than West Hollywood. I can't say I'm much of a club going as well. So that just was pointless to me.



No matter what you do this weekend, it's a lot better for the memories to stay safe and not drink to hard - potentially risking your Monday 9-5. Let alone a DUI all for the sake of all Hallows Eve. It's probably also not a good idea to wear very little and expose yourself to the elements.

Then again, I go back to thinking that this is that final bow to the low cut exposed summer time attire. I'm sure the guys appreciate the view, but remember.. You don't have to wear a costume that has the word "Sexy" in front of it.

If anything, this should show you that if you really want to dress like that, then by all means dress like that normally. Too many people use this Holiday as a free pass to enact their inhibitions. Just do it if you really want to. But don't use Halloween as an excuse.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

What's That Spell? Pedo- Pedo- Yay, Pedo!

What's That Spell? Pedo- Pedo- Yay, Pedo!

If you check out the local news stands this coming month you'll be able to see something that would make you register as a sex offender. At least according to some overly protective parents groups.

You see, a recent photo shoot with models between the ages of 24 and 28 is creating a stir with parent groups calling fowl and tossing out accusations that it encourages Pedophilia. Here's one of the photo's in question.



Yup, nothing to get all Gleeful about here..

The Glee photo shoot featured in the November issue of GQ is facing criticism from the Parents Television Council. The group recently chastised Miley Cyrus for her “Who Owns My Heart” video and Taylor Momsen on the cover of Revolver which, of course, made sense. (Although to a lesser extent with Taylor Momsen because she wasn’t the lynchpin of an entire franchise aimed at 12-year-olds. Plus who the hell is she?) But now they’re going a tad overboard by labeling the GQ shoot as “pedophilia” in an official statement:

“It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia. Sadly, this is just the latest example of the overt sexualization of young girls in entertainment,” said PTC President Tim Winter.
“Many children who flocked to ‘High School Musical’ have grown into ‘Glee’ fans. They are now being treated to seductive, in-your-face poses of the underwear-clad female characters posing in front of school lockers, one of them opting for a full-frontal crotch shot. By authorizing this kind of near-pornographic display, the creators of the program have established their intentions on the show’s direction. And it isn’t good for families.”

These people might actually have a point if Lea Michele and Dianna Agron weren’t both, oh I dunno, 24. Also,
But to be fair, the inside of the magazine has the following images



But it makes you wonder. Didn't Glee just have an episode where one of the characters dresses up like Britney Spears and.. well, she does every one of her provocative dance numbers? Not to mention that tonight they have an episode were they're doing the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Seems to me that Glee is doing pretty well at visualizing these people without GQ's help.



Oh, did I forget to mention that the Britney Spears episode had the very Jewish kid getting caught jerking off to a video of Rachel in a skimpy outfit, and in the latest episode, Brittany and Santana had a little lesbian make out session on a bed. Yup, this show may look like High School Musical, but it really is far from it.



Yeah, these parents may allow their children to watch a show about high school kids and may not actually want them exposed to such sexuality, but again, the show is overly sexual already and this is a men's magazine. If these people didn't draw attention to the photo spread it would have likely gone unnoticed by their children. Most of all, Glee is not a fucking show for children.



But hey, Dianna Agron took to her blog last Wednesday night to apologize for her controversial GQ spread with fellow castmates Lea Michele and Cory Monteith, saying “it wasn’t my favorite idea, but I did not walk away.” Seriously? Grow some balls you fucking pussy. Oh, how dare I upset my fans who clearly are jerking off to these images.



Do you remember that famous scene with Pheobe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Yeah, that one. You just pictured those tits, didn't you? Well guess what, pedophile, she was playing a High School Student in that film. If the shit these folks are saying is true then you've just crossed over to the creepy zone.

I imagine that if that made you a pedo, then perhaps there's some serious issues with Halloween with the ladies dressing up in cheer leading outfits and other school girl outfits that just scream out as to something being not age appropriate.

Either way, you have to wonder who is perpetuating the stereotype that cheerleaders are "sexy". It's probably a self fulfilling prophecy when you think about it. Society sees them as sex objects and then they just continue the cycle by creating cheers that paint them in that image. And let me tell you, age has no limit when it comes to this patriarchy...


Cheerleader, 11, ousted for refusing to ‘shake booty’

She says she was thrown off squad for standing up for her beliefs. An 11-year-old girl who was thrown off a Nebraska elementary school’s junior cheerleading squad because she refused to “shake her booty” says that while the gyrations may be a crowd-pleaser, she doesn’t think young girls should be moving their bodies like that.

“It just felt wrong. I don’t know why,” Faylene Frampton said Wednesday during an interview on TODAY with Tamron Hall. “It just didn’t feel it was a cheer that was appropriate for kids of my age or younger.”

The sixth-grader from Ashland, Neb., says she complained to cheerleading coach Tina Harris in the past that she did not feel comfortable with the cheer, which is number 33 in the squad’s 44-cheer routine.

The cheer calls upon Faylene and younger members of the squad — including some in the second grade — to turn their backs to the bleachers, bend over, and move their pelvises from side to side.

The cheer had been used in the past, but Faylene says never liked doing it and told the coach so. So when Harris gave the signal for “shake your booty” on Oct. 10, the third-to-last game of the season, she decided it was time to put her foot down — both of them, actually — and take a stand.

Faylene, the oldest and most senior of the junior cheerleaders, refused to do the cheer and was sent home. Later, her father was informed by the coach during a phone call that Faylene was being benched for the last two games for disrespecting the coach.
Geez, way to ruin cheerleading, you non-bootilicious, 11 year old brat! What did you think you were signing up for when you turned in the permission slip and athletic dues? Did you not realize your costume was essentially a short skirt and a tight top? It's not like you're cheerleading for Jesus at Sunday mass.

I mean, fuck. If you don't want to be objectified sexually, don't be female, I say. I just don't want to live in a world where 11 year old girls aren't made to grind and shake it like a stripper in front of a crowd at after school youth sports activities.



Then you have your cheerleaders who just flat out refuse to cheer because they don't want to encourage their rapist.
5th Circuit: Cheerleader can’t refuse to cheer

A former Silsbee, Texas, high school cheerleader did not have a First Amendment right to refuse to cheer for a basketball player she claimed had sexually assaulted her, a federal appeals court panel has ruled.

The student — known in court papers as H.S. — attended a party after a Silsbee High School football game in October 2008, when she was 16. She alleged that several individuals sexually assaulted her, including then-football players Rakheem Bolton, Christian Rountree and an unidentified juvenile.

In January 2009, a racially divided grand jury from Hardin County refused to indict the players, who did not have criminal records. (Later, some of the players were indicted.)

H.S. said that school officials ordered her to cheer for Bolton, who also played on the basketball team, at a February 2009 game. H.S. cheered for the team, but refused to cheer for Bolton individually. She said that Richard Bain Jr., the superintendent of schools, and Gail Lokey, who was the principal at Silsbee High, ordered her to cheer for Bolton when the other cheerleaders cheered or go home. H.S. refused, left the game, and was subsequently dismissed from the squad by cheerleading coach Sissy McInnis.

In May 2009, H.S.’s parents — known in court papers as John and Jane Doe — sued District Attorney David Sheffield, Silsbee Independent School District, Superintendent Bain, Principal Lokey and McInnis. H.S.’s parents argued that Sheffield violated the First Amendment by retaliating against H.S. for filing sexual-assault charges by revealing details about the case to the public.

With respect to the school and the school defendants, H.S. and her parents contended that she was punished because of her “symbolic expression” not to cheer for Bolton.
The girls should fly a picket sign outside the school saying "I was forced to cheer for my rapist". I mean, it's not like joining the cheer leading squad is implied consent to have sex with the football team, thus a cheerleader could never be raped and it's always consensual sex.

You have to wonder why when he copped a plea to assault why wasn't it just automatically a case to throw him off the team and send him to an alternative school avoiding this issue altogether.

Then again, this is Texas we're talking about. Texas has worked more high school athletes to death than any other state by a wide margin. Just a reminder that some high school in Texas spend tens of millions of dollars on their football stadiums, which include jumbotrons and other such lavish shit.



This new stadium will feature:

* Video Scoreboard
* Two level press box with film deck and Observation deck
* Home side reserved seating with seat backs
* 1,5000 additional parking spaces with 4,500 total parking spaces
* 18,000 seat Stadium with upper deck seating including:
* 5,000 reserved seating,
* 2,700 General Admission
* 4,000 Students
* 5,300 Visitor
* 1,000 Band

The cost? $60 million. And even though it's the #2 best high school football team in the United States, that's 18,000 seats in a stadium for a 3,855 student body school. If they sold out seven home games a year at maximum capacity at ten dollars a ticket, it would still take sixty years to even think about paying it off.

And I just have to say this to Texas. No one cares that it's dealing with Texas. I swear, you people are worse than New Yorkers when it comes to self importance. Why hell would you make such a big deal about it "being in Texas". Check out my Texas class ring, I got it when I graduated Texas High! I was the giant ten gallon hat mascot for the Texas hatters, voted most likely to love Texas forever!

I don't care that this is in Texas, it's still a huge shithole. Would Texans please stop acting like anyone gives a fuck about anything that happens in the state just because it so happens to be Texas?

So in short, fuck cheer leading and fuck the parent groups who jump to assumptions based on the look of someone on a photo shoot. Further more, if you don't want to be paraded around as an object, don't join the fucking cheer squad. That's like suggesting you were male gazed when you did the Swimsuit photo shoot of sports illustrated.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

It's No Wonder, Woman!

It's No Wonder, Woman!

Oh my goddess! It's hard to believe DC thought they could get away with re-imagining Wonder Woman by a man?!? Besides, what's the revolutionary 2010 new look of Wonder Woman? Pants. We'll throw the Third wavers a bone by giving her pants, but them bomb ass titties stay!



The new writer J. Michael Straczynski, explains the addition of pants to the costume as such.
“Considering how superheroes operate, you want freedom to move and move quickly,” Gunn said. “Capes and cloaks can be easily removed if they get caught on something. Gowns and dresses, not so much. The more form-fitting, the better. So tight pants or skinny jeans, sure. I think Wonder Woman could work a pant.”
I trust the man to write women well. I trust him more than I trust Joss Whedon, and I trust Joss Whedon quite a bit. You know, creator of such deep characters as "Hot country engineer chick", "classy romantically complicated prostitute babe", and "Sardonic, bitchy femme fatale who hides secret vulnerability" Which is literally five or six separate characters.

HI EVERYONE, I'M JOSS WHEDON! I want my female characters to be empowering so I literally give them superpowers and occasionally make them robots. Why does nobody watch my showssss?!??! As a man I feel very qualified to decide what is and isn't feminist.



But back tot he costume here. I'm not entirely sure that's really all that's going on here. I mean, what about the iconic costume and all that history now thrown away? Well, Let's see what my favorite feminist website has to say about this situation
It's the end of an era. At 69 years old, Wonder Woman has decided to put on some pants. But actually, the new duds are not an act of self-determination by the woman (formerly) in red, white and blue.

According to the New York Times, the new head writer of the series, J. Michael Straczynski, wanted to "toughen her up and give her a modern sensibility."

This is modernity? Where are her red boots? What about modernization requires her trademark "W" emblem to fade into the background? How is covering her once rippling, now wimpy, muscles a nod to evolved images of womanhood?

I know what you're thinking: Shouldn't feminists be happy that Wonder Woman now looks more like a young woman freshly off a college campus, at once ready to go fight some bad guys in an alley or in a pay discrimination lawsuit? Haven't we been fighting for women role models with more clothing as well as more substance? She couldn't really fight evil in a bustier-is this not a feminist win?

No, not by a long shot. In fact, it feels like the sad loss of America's first truly feminist comic book heroine.

This isn't the first time DC Comics has tried to "modernize" the Wonder Woman character, which debuted in 1930 as the creation of psychologist William Marston. Marston, with the encouragement of his wife Elizabeth, designed her as a "new kind of superhero, one who would triumph not with fists or firepower, but with love." Wonder Woman, her creator said, was "psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world."

Feminist outrage at the devolution of their heroine was quick. A group of activists, led by Gloria Steinem, leaned on DC Comics to scrap the "new" Wonder Woman in favor of the more powerful original-and they won, convincing the company to restore Wonder Woman's powers and history during the next version of the series. They understood that along with equal pay and childcare and the right to hold credit in their own name, young women need to be able to see themselves in strong pop culture role models in order to fashion themselves into the real life versions.

If the folks at DC Comics weren't aware, 2010 America is far from a mythical Amazonian paradise. Take for example new statistics from the Geena Davis Institute on Gender and Media pertaining to female role models for young girls. In G rated movies, just one in three speaking roles is female and in PG and R rated films, about 73 percent of the characters are male. While there are notable exceptions, like Dora the Explorer and the girl superheroes in The Invincibles, young women are still hard pressed to find pop culture role models that look and sound like themselves. If, as it seems, Wonder Woman is truly losing some of her characteristic fierceness, that's one fewer strong female role model for girls to aspire to be.

Jim Lee, the artist responsible for Wonder Woman's new design, claims he wanted her to look strong "without screaming, ‘I'm a superhero.' " Even today, in this "modern era," it's still hard not to wonder, what's so wrong with screaming that?
So... um.. the article says she doesn't look hot enough in the re-visioning. That's what it says, man. I just don't know. The feminist in me feels very confused at this sudden change. Though really, it's not sudden at all.



JMS has a long history of writing powerful, well rounded female characters. The man helped create She-Ra, rebelling against the toy company's insistence that she be nicer and laughing at a man who told the writers that as a female heroine, She-Ra shouldn't ever hit anybody because little girls wouldn't like that.

To be honest, her new look makes her look pretty much how JMS always remakes characters. Seriously, she now looks like every character in Rising Stars. Take a look at how he made over Thor when he jumped on that. Frankly, if you know JMS is writing your favorite character, expect there to be a costume change. I could almost hear him say the following;
I wanna make her look strong but not superhero strong. So I covered up everything but her tit muscles with skintight clothing and put a dog collar around her neck.


The real problem with Wonder Woman isn't her look. It's her personality. She has never been a warm, appealing character. She comes from an island populated only by immortal Amazons who hate men. And men aren't allowed to set foot on the island. This island of super-women scantily clad women send her to "the man's world" where she brings the baggage of this sexist world view.

See, here's problem number 1. Most comic readers are male. So you start off telling them their gender sucks. Great sales pitch to keep buying her books, right? Let's deal with some reality for a second. I know the PC crowd and leftists in general love the concept of "protected classes" and the idea that, say, woman could do things better than men if they had the chance. But aside from the chauvinistic mentality of this argument it ignores a simple axiom. Women are human beings. Human beings are flawed creatures.



The idea that someone's gender makes them wiser or better is the kind of elitist nonsense that every tyrant has used to justify their atrocities. Ask yourself this question: Has everyone you've come across in life who is a member of your gender, race or religion been wonderful to you? Can you honestly say that every member of your race, religion or gender has an impeccably perfect history of treatment of others?

The idea that a race, gender, sexual orientation, whatever sets a group apart from others is complete nonsense. We're all human. And any story that sells the idea that one gender is bad and another good is nothing more than classist porn.

Secondly, while Diana Prince (Wonder Woman's real name) does change her attitude somewhat when she comes ashore, the "whole men are evil" mentality continues. It's misandry, plain and simple and that's unappealing. She does undergo some growth as a character from her early days, but writers continue to revert to this lame argument, which is going to limit your audience to the self-loathing types. More on that in a second.


Oh look, costume changes...

Third, she lacks personality. That will happen when you're made out of clay. Any protagonist needs to be appealing in some way for the reader to identify with them or care about them. Every writer of that character failed to give us enough reason to invest ourselves in that storyline. Being good looking isn't enough, especially in a world where 99% of the women are babes. Being able to do heroic deeds isn't enough since that's standard operating procedure for super-heroes and most comic writers don't even seem to know what heroism means.

Fourth, her back story isn't very well thought out. It's a hodgepodge of slap dash Greek Mythology badly research and poorly executed by most who've handled her. The man (gasp!) who created her, Dr. William Moulton Marston, was a bit of a perv who was into bondage. This is why she got tied up a lot back in the 40's when he worked on the comic The story was supposed to be about feminism, but this is coming from some bondage loving guy who lived with two women. One of his views was that there is "a male notion of freedom that is inherently anarchic and violent, and an opposing female notion based on 'Love Allure' that leads to an ideal state of submission to loving authority. Yes, that was creepy.



So, the characters origins come from a somewhat warped dude. And then, through the years DC has tried to make her some kind of ersatz feminist icon, spouting the usual cliched bromides, basically saying "you can look but don't touch!" Hostile, icy women may appeal to some, but are generally not going to win people over unless we're given a good understanding of them as people. And writers over the years have failed to do that.

Until Wonder Woman gets handled by someone who understands the problems with this character and knows how to really fix them, this reboot is going to be yet another in a long line of failures. As for the costume, it's shrug inducing. The whole point of a super-hero costume is to make them stand apart from everyone else in some way. Classic super-heroes are suppose to be bright spots in a dark world. Making them more muted and ordinary looking just makes them yet another face in the crowd.



Then again, Wonder Woman and every comic character have changed costumes like a trillion times and the news media always has a weird thing with reporting comic books as if it was always the 1950's and nothing has happened in the 60 years since.

Again, Wonder Woman was created as an outlet for some really weak sauce bondage fetish and spanking fantasies. She's never been a feminist anything. So this entire "debate" over feminist views of her is pretty hilarious. Don't believe me? I wonder what the hidden message of the following images is.





How about actually sticking to the guns here. You know, the Amazons were rumored to cut off their left breasts in order to fire a bow more efficient but nooooo, we gotta give them pants instead.

At least this is far better than the recent costume change that Wonder Woman went through during the DC crossover event of Blackest Night. In it, she attained the power ring of the Star Sapphires, which are equivalent to the Green Lantern Corps in that they are space cops, only Star Sapphires specialize in love. But if you want to talk about trashy looking costumes that do nothing to empower anyone, just take a look at this..



Now what the hell was up with that? That was just a new low. I like Geoff Johns and all, but the costume was awful on all regards and did nothing to disprove that women in comics are treated pretty badly. Don't even get me started on the Women in Refrigerators comic syndrome.

Not to mention they even made a toy of her in that outfit, just so that the little kiddies could always reenact their favorite scenes of female empowering. I have to wonder how cold it gets in space and if this costume is really fit to see space travel.



At least there's some hope. I have to admit that I really did enjoy the new animated movie that went direct to DVD/BluRay. It was pretty badass and avoided the typical misgivings that Wonder Woman writers usually do that turn me off so much. The character design was the classic look, but it worked well and was simplified.



I haven't even touched on the whole Linda Carter stuff. Mainly because I always liked the TV show as it really stayed away from the Amazon princess bullshit and was at least campy as fuck. I mean, if you don't believe me, you could take a look at these two clips right here and see for yourself. Besides that, Linda Carter was amazingly beautiful.

I really just wonder why they don't have actual fashion designers working on this stuff? Aside from not being any less sexist, her boobs have inflated from B's to D's, her boots are high heeled, etc and the costume looks like it's time warped from 1989, and not in a hipster sort of way either. It's an anachronism, and a dumb one, right out of the gate.



So what did Fashion expert Tim Gunn have to say about this costume change?

“I believe in the semiotics of fashion and this new look says, ‘I’m confident, I’m powerful, I’m sexy, and don’t mess with me.’ Furthermore, she looks like a citizen of the real world rather than a creature from another land.”

Tim also pointed out that this is no longer a costume. I think the jacket is more decoration than anything else, it doesn’t look like it can really zip up in front. The shoulder pads aren’t bad, the more I look at them. They give her a military touch. The belt, I rather like, but I wish it didn’t have that star on the back because when I showed this issue to a few girls, several of them asked “is that a tramp stamp?” That’s an easy fix, though. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about the choker

The shirt looks good, but I don’t like the excess lines and I’d prefer if the WW was a bit larger. I realize part of this is that Diana isn’t supposed to stand out as much, but let’s face it, a woman wearing this is going to stand out so at that point why not just embrace it and have a larger symbol or chest guard? Also, Diana is an inspirational figure and this look strongly says “cynicism.”


You know what though, people talk about the outfits that female characters in comic books wear being revealing and demeaning to women. Presenting an ideal that is impossible for girls to live up to. But what often gets ignored is the hyper-masculine portrayal of males. 90% of male heroes in comic books wear outfits so tight you can see every rippling bulging muscle.

How is Superman's thin veneer of spandex any less revealing than Wonder Woman's weird corsety-swimsuit thing? Also, as far as revealing outfits go, Hercules has everyone else trumped. The dude wears a skirt and some thigh-high sandals.


Put on some pants! You're encouraging your boys to wear skirts and drink heavily!

We have to remember that it's the nature of the medium to do this. Superheroes are hyped up, over-sexualized characters in a visual melodrama. You aren't suppose to aspire to be the character. You're suppose to admire the traits that character is meant to represent.

We walk this line of never being able to please anyone, really. Women must constantly be depicted in the most sexually neutral way possible because to ascribe them any sort of existence as a sexual being is sexist somehow to someone somewhere. If that's the case, I guess Islam really is the most feminist after all.

To be perfectly honest, the portrayal of how they treat female superheroes isn't really the biggest issue at all. My biggest problem is just how flippant the comic industry treats death in the big picture. There's nobody that stays dead in the comic book for any amount of time before being magically resurrected because fans demand it or sales are slumping.



There's always some sort of excuse or loophole that allows the person to cheat death. Some scheme pulled out of their asses to validate the reasons that they're now alive again. The most recent Green Lantern mega event was a perfect example of that and it's a huge turn off because comic writers seem to deal out deaths as plot points like it's candy on Halloween.

Instead of actually treating death as a finality, most children might grow up getting the idea that death is pretty fungible and it loses any and all meaning that it originally had. That and the idea that comic books are somehow not comic books. That you need to adult them up by calling them Graphic Novels also pisses me off. But that's a story for another day.