The Penis Mightier Than The Sword

The Penis Mightier Than The Sword

I keep coming across this ad on the internet and it got to the point that I had to say something about it. You know, I can usually ignore stuff like this for so long before my gut reaction to make some stupid comment just seems to be in my face.

Let's take a look at the strangeness of this advertisement.



I know what you're thinking. "WHAT THE FUCK.... That queen is pretty young!" I know I was thinking just that. I mean, look at her. she doesn't even look a day over 20, can she legally drink mead? Well, I guess at that age she would be going through her mid-life crisis. That biological clock would be ticking on how long she has to find a good prince and settle down before she dies at the ripe old age of 24.

Most importantly, what's u with the sword pointing at her breast? I mean, the sword could be a penis. Well, let's be honest, All swords are penises. If we were a female-dominated species through history, we would see that all of our weapons would be shaed like vaginas. It's just a fact, people want to make their junk seem more powerful. I learned, in that one year of college level woman's studies that that was the cause with all pigs.. I mean men.

But the image goes deeper. You see, the queen is also a penis. It is a very complex image. Now, I don't even know what the product is that they're trying to sell to me. Is it some cheap knock off of WoW? If so, no thank you. I don't need swords pointing at tits to realize that I would not be getting any if I was playing WoW, let alone a cheap, Payless version of the game. I mean, where else am I going to find some tail...

I guess I could try the internet..



First off, if I met a christian single that looked like that.. I would be getting on my knees and well... not praying, that's for sure. Then I would just not bother dating her. I mean, it may look good on paper, but like communism, it wouldn't be nice to live through.

First off, she's hot and to not be able to have sex cause she's "christian" would be a crime against man, country and anything else that is right in this world. Not to mention that she looks like she's actually a porn star and this stupid TOGETHER CHRISTIAN company just took her image to attract and convert them desperate to get tail types. It's the classic bait and switch approach.

When I kill Myself And Others Please Make Sure My PS3 Is Taken Care Of

When I kill Myself And Others Please Make Sure My PS3 Is Taken Care Of


Well this was an interesting story that I couldn't let slip through the cracks...

PORTLAND, Ore. - Police said suspected gunman Erik Salvador Ayala was reportedly depressed and unemployed when he left a note for his roommate that insinuated suicide, drove to downtown Portland and opened fire on a random crowd Saturday night, killing two people and injuring seven before turning the gun on himself.

Police released those new details Monday afternoon during a news conference on the shooting spree investigation. But they still don't know why the nine people were gunned down in what police said was a random shooting that lasted but a few seconds. They also don't know how Ayala obtained a 9mm semi-automatic handgun used in the shooting spree.

Meanwhile, Ayala remained in critical condition Monday at Legacy Emanuel Hospital. Police said he shot himself in the head following Saturday night's shooting rampage outside the underage nightclub called The Zone on Southwest 2nd Avenue.

Eight of the nine victims were teenagers, many of them foreign exchange students. Investigators don't believe they were targeted but simply just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Following the shooting, investigators executed a search warrant at Ayala's Milwaukie home on Sunday afternoon and found a case for the 9mm handgun as well as ammunition, numerous video games and a note Ayala had left for his roommate.

In the note, Ayala said he was giving all his possessions to his roommate, Mike Delisle, including his video game system and car, which Ayala wrote could be found "somewhere downtown, but I'm not sure where. I'm sure you'll get a letter about it soon."

Police said the note "insinuated possible thoughts of suicide."

Investigators believe Ayala drove his vehicle to the area of Southwest 4th Avenue and Southwest Main Street before walking to the nightclub and opening fire about 10:30 p.m. Police found the car and cordoned it off after the shooting.

Delisle told KATU he found the note hours after Ayala had left it. Delisle said he initially went looking for Ayala but then stayed home, hoping his roommate would return.

Delisle, a college student, then went to work. Sometime later, police found him there and told him what happened.

"I was sick to my stomach and shaking," Delisle said. "I wasn't even aware that he had a gun - or let alone that he could even afford it."

Delisle said his roommate was unemployed and seemed depressed but otherwise had not shown any signs of violence.

"Everyone that knows him is really shocked," Delisle said.

Much of Ayala's recent life is a mystery. He attended McNary High School, where he was in the band, and he worked for a temp agency. Delisle said his roommate liked to play video games and was quiet and "kind of a loner."

Anyone who had contact with Ayala in the days before the shooting or anyone with additional information was asked to call Portland Police Detective Ken Whattam (503) 823-0696 or Detective Mark Slater (503) 823-9319. Anyone with information concerning when and where Ayala obtained the handgun used in the shooting should also call the above detectives.

The following is the contents of the note police said they recovered in the suspect's home:

To my friends and family:
I am sorry.

And to my friend, (redacted)

I am especially sorry. I know it's not much consolation but as my friend and roommate you are entitled to everything that I own. Maybe these things can bring in a few bucks.

Good luck in this (expletive) world.

Erik

If you need my personal information for any reason, here it is:

My ssn: (redacted)
My bank account number: (redacted)
My alien number: (redacted)
My ODL: 974739
My birthdate: 03-10-84

The check I wrote you should be most of the money in my account. I gave you an affidavit in case you want to check what's left but it's probably less than $20.

Qwest account login: (redacted)

(redacted)
(redacted)

My car is up to date with maintenance. It just leaks a little oil. You can probably get at least 2.5 grand for it. It'll be somewhere downtown but I'm not sure where. I'm sure you'll get a letter about it soon.

You know my ps3 is special. Similar USED ps3's go for AT LEAST $450-$500. Our landlord guy wants a ps3 like mine. Let him know that $400 would be a GOOD deal. If he doesn't want it, format the drive by going to Settings>System>Format Utility. You can say it "comes with the latest firmware software" to help market it on the internet. In case you don't know, it's the special "100% backwards compatible" (60 GB) ps3.

I'm sorry to put all this on you buddy, good luck.

The story is out of the way now and I'm left confused. I'm fascinated how someone can do something so heinous but be in the sort of frame of mind to make sure his room mate is taken care of and his beloved "special" PS3 fetches the most money and that someone takes care of his phone bill.

I mean, it seems reasonable to me, killzone 2 is coming out soon and there's always Little Big Planet and Street Fighter IV to be concerned about. So why go on a killing spree? You could just write this off as a guy just dissatisfied with life, but it completely doesn't make sense that he decided to shoot up a few people as well as himself. Really, it's confusing, and doesn't fit the tone of the letter or anything.

I think we are going to see more of this unfortunately as time goes on, with the way things are today, things only look worse for PS3 owners. Those of you wondering what drove this guy to shoot strangers though?

I'm guessing he drove himself. The car is parked somewhere and there's sure to be a letter about it. I'm curious if his roommate would have preferred a 360, but ya know, whatever.

Holiday Gift Guide: Sex Toys

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