Monday, November 3, 2008

Rock The Vote And Your Stomach

Rock The Vote And Your Stomach

Generally speaking, voting is for squares. As you can tell by my many writings here, I'm politically inclined and interested in the hot button issues as well as other stupid stuff. It's the reason why I turn on KCRW on Tuesday nights. There's nothing more soothing than hearing Santa Monica residents bitch and complain about the local issues and measures.

But for those of you who would rather hit yourself in the head with a hammer than listen to anyone on CNN or Fox News talk about the current issues, voting is a choir. Because big business wants you to have some say in your elected officials, they're starting to offer membership rewards to all of you who are cool enough to get one of those I VOTED stickers after you pull the lever, put your marble in the jar or whatever other method you casted your vote.

Here's a list of some of the perks to waiting in line on Tuesday to vote. Perhaps you should take a moment to look at them and weigh in your option on if you're going to even bother being that California is pretty much called for Obama.

A Tall Coffee at Starbucks for simply saying you voted

If you're in the South, 3 piece chicken strip meal at Shane's Rib Shack.

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream at most locations.

Magical Liberty Donut at Krispy Kreme. One minute on your lips, 9 months of working out to get rid of it from your hips

Chick-fil-a free chicken sandwich

Some Mellow Mushrooms may give you free cheesie bread.

The Eidson and Pitfire Pizza have a deal for a good meal and free drink.

Most importantly,

A Muslim president

So yes, thanks to fine corporations, we may actually have a good election turn out because it's clear to see that people need to be bribed with free crap to do their civic duty. As a former poll worker, I still have rows and rows of I VOTED stickers some where around here. I guess I'm going to be living on easy streak come Tuesday night.


OSTerizer said...

And rock your vagina!

Babeland, a sex toy shop in New York and Seattle, is showing y'all up.

Bring in proof of voting from 11/4-11/11 and you can get a free Silver Bullet vibrator or Maverick penis sleeve.

Booster Gold said...

Well then, that's one way to get ahead at the polls....

*streams of consciousness* said...

Actually you don't just have to be in the south to enjoy Shane's Rib Shacks Celebrate America Meal. The three piece chicken tender, fries and a 20 oz drink meal will be offered to the first 300 people at all participating Shane's Rib Shacks!