Turning Trick or Treating

With Halloween two weeks away it's time to bust out the ideas on what to go as. Maybe it's because I'm old, but I remember the days when you could go out in a costume that had the face whoever you were trying to be on your chest as well as a cheap plastic mask of them. It was simple. It was basic. It got you candy.

What little girl doesn't want to go as Bjork?

I'm not exactly sure when Halloween changed, but it did. I remember when Halloween was for kids. You know, you went trick or treating around the area ringing as many doorbells as you could and score as much booty as you could and that was enough. You would compare what you got, pick out the apples with razor blades and mars bars with straight pins in them. You remember, that sort of risk that made the candy sweeter.


All I can say is my life is pretty plain...

Then what happened, and as best as I can guess it, it was around the time they started using Elvira to promote Coors light- asking you to go grab a six pack of coors for Halloween- that it crossed the threshold of being a holiday for children to a holiday for adults, and more importantly, it opened the flood gates to making it acceptable for women to wear virtually nothing to parties. It's that one night a year when any gal can go out in their night wear and not be judged by their fellow female as a slut/whore/whatever and also attract the attention of guys with the ease of wearing what one would normally only wear to bed.

Now, I'm not opposed to this. As a red blooded male I would be crazy to say that I mind eye candy. Though, this video should give you an idea of what seems to be the limit of what women can wear these days.


Now, I'm no prude, but Frog may be going beyond the line of good taste. I mean, we have to have some standards when it comes to costumes! Sarcasm aside, this created something over time. It made it a point for adults to just dress up in cloths like this for Halloween.


Since children have always looked up to old figure s in their life, have them be their parents, their single aunt, brittney spears or big bird, it means that the range of Halloween costumes have changed over the years for children.



Now one would normally question the tastefulness of these. I mean, the last one is actually called Major Flirt. Are they teaching kids these days to be more free with their sexuality? What parents are allowing their kids to go out like this? Have the moral standards been allowed to sway that bad? WILL ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

This is not a new thing. I remember when I was in grade school some girl was dressed up as Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Bare midsection, shell shaped bikini top, glittery green pants in the shape of fins. I remember it so well because it was my first experience were I disliked a girl, but wanted to be near her anyway...

It was a confusing day for 9 year old me.


Enjoy your 9 year old world, little chicken
dressed timmy, reality will soon hit.

On the flip side, I don't know, maybe I'm just really conservative about clothing or something, but most of these Halloween costumes just look like children parading around in what would be fetish outfits on adults, and that bothers me. But what disturbs me most about these kids is their faces.

their soulless doll faces.

there's nothing in there, they are already dead inside, crushed by the weight of their parent's dreams of becoming a model through their children.


I mean, really. What was that last one even suppose to be? Is the market for little girls who can't decide between pirate, cheerleader, frankenstein and gorilla that this costume needs to be manufactured for them all? I don't really understand why young girls of this age WANT to look sexy... Guys at that age are usually still 'Ew Girls' are they not? In fact, that was one of the reasons why I wanted to write a script called "Night of the Cooties," in which the girls start dressing up in sexy costumes in an attempt to infect all boykind with their deadly diseases. Oh yes... there WILL be germs!

To be fair, little girls aren't seeing it in a sexual light at all. They simply want to imitate those older than them, and since Halloween is basically an excuse for adult women to dress in "sexy [insert occupation here]" costumes, it's not that surprising.

I envy his happiness.

Most of those outfits are cutesy or girly, not really sexy. The ones that are kind of weird like the fetishy looking generic goth girl may have elements that an adult would perceive as sexual, but to the little girl are just going to be weird or different or new. One of the fun things kids and adults alike do on Halloween, and at all costume parties, is wear things they wouldn't normally wear under any circumstance. Conservative, shy girls dress slutty. Goofy guys dress like Charlie Chaplin. Extroverted, creepy guys dress like slutty girls. And kids are less inhibited about dress-up playtime than adults are. Some girls will want to be a scary ghost or an ugly witch. Some girls will want to be a ballerina. Some girls will want to be the girl from Evanescence. Also some of these costumes are intended for 11-18 year old girls who can and will try to look sexy no matter what their parents want.

My biggest complaint is that the options for women when it comes to Halloween is a lot wider than it is for males. They get the Disney princesses and we get health cereal, a phallic joke and an ass balloon.



But let me tell you, this kid is all man!


I do have to give credit to the modern day kid though. Have it be them trying to look more Adult like for a day or just having fun with a sterotype image, it allows them to explore that sort of image they look at, and most of all, it shows us how kids view the world around them since this one day dress up is a visual representation of what the world looks like to them. How they see others and how they see those they look up to or want to mimic.

Only fitting that it's on Halloween that we find out how they view grown ups on this day. Mainly because their image of us is rather scary...