Watchmen: The Rorschach Test

Watchmen: The Rorschach Test

You may remember when I talked about who releases the watchmen, Well, Fox and WB have worked out their difference. In that Fox is now getting a wheel barrel full of cash and WB gets to release Watchmen like nothing ever happened on March 6.

But before that we're getting a slew of marketing cash grabs. The motion comic book comes to DVD and Blue-ray and it's packed with goodies.

What's a motion comic? Well, it's sort of like the Invincible shorts MTV did. It hearkens back to old Marvel cartoons, but I really really dislike it. I don't understand why other people do. The voice actor is also terrible when it comes to the voice of women. How hard would it have been to hire a woman for that role of.. you know.. a woman? I'd rather read the actual comic myself, I like audiobooks for the "hands/eyes free" convenience, this thing doesn't offer that. Plus I can imagine being twitchy about the reading speed aspect too.



Then we come across the other piece of info on the music for the film.

Music From The Motion Picture Watchmen, the film's official soundtrack, includes My Chemical Romance's powerful reinterpretation of Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row," recorded exclusively for the film. The soundtrack also features a collection of classic songs by such artists as Nat King Cole, Simon & Garfunkel, and Janis Joplin, which, once heard in the context of the film, will never be thought of the same way again.

Um... interesting selection, I must say. With The Watchmen coming out in a little over a month, it's nice to see the advertisement dollars roll in. For starters they have a twitter profile going for the The New Frontiersman, a center piece in the comic. Which is offering nice updates daily on other material that is key to the comic and film. Then they went the full mile with this mock up Night News report set in the 70's about Dr. Manhattan, a certain key character of the film.


So the only thing to question now is Who Watches The Watchmen film?

Though I have to admit, it's going to pain me to see the vast amount of Rorschach Halloween costumes this year. Much like how you hot topic kids pissed on my love for Nightmare Before Christmas in the early 2000's, I'm sure this year's Halloween costume will be of Rorschach just like every person and their grandma was dressed as Health Ledger's Joker. The grandmas were able to pull it off. Those fat nerds on the other hand... not so much. And as old and cranky as I sound, there's far worse out there on the internet. A slew of geeks on the internet with every possible combination of Watchmen and whatever possible start popping up.


"Ten minutes from now, she's pulling the football away just as I attempt to kick it. I am already lying on the ground, twelve seconds into the future. I will be grief-stricken."

See that right there? A combination of the Peanuts and The Watchmen. It's the true spirit of the internet. Demented nerds coming together and dreaming about combining things. The best part was in the late 90s when people thought that would be worth money somehow. Stupid fools.

But then again, there's those who will complain about anything. For example, in this case we have the morons in the world complaining about the Video game. Heaven forbid they make a game based off a comic book. Face it folks, if they can make a game about Fight Club, a film that talks about the problems with mass marketing and consumerism, they can make a film about a comic book that points out the blurry line between what is consider the good guy and the bad guy.



In this case, the The Watchmen Video Game is getting shit because fans are wondering how you would make a game based off the comic book with very little real action. That and how it fits into the story line.

Watchmen: The End is Nigh is a video game tie-in for the movie version of the Watchman graphic novel. No, don't leave yet! Keep reading.

The beat-'em-up-meets-puzzle-game will be released in an episodic format to coincide with the upcoming film. While Watchman writer Alan Moore is off being bonkers and not involved with the game, Watchmen artist Dave Gibbons is acting as advisor. That's a good sign!

Another good sign? The game is being written by the book's editor Len Wein, and what's more, it's completely in the Watchmen cannon.

Dave Gibbons says the Watchmen beat-em-up that has you playing as Nite Owl and Rorshach is canon and based off of some RPG that was written at the time of the original comic release. Which works out. It sets you in a time when Rorschach wasn't totally batshit and worked with Nite Owl to take down the mob which was alluded to in the book a few times.



No matter how much explaining or reasoning there is behind this, it wont let those crazy nerds complain about what is canon and what isn't? For those of you who aren't nerds, Canon doesn't refer to a gun, it refers to the time line or history of the franchise. But with comments like:

"BUT THE ARTIST DIDN'T WRITE IT. Jesus. This isn't Japan. He has no say in this."

It really makes you wonder how the internet hasn't imploded in on its own self importance. Then we have this nugget:

"Alan Moore isn't bonkers. He's more sane than whoever thought up this stupid game."

Oh snap! No he-didn't! Yeah, I'm sure a game developer who likes money has less sanity than some hairy bearded dude in a shack that shuns the world.. Yeah, given the fact that his books have been crapped on, this one may actually be good.



Let's not forget that most of these people are guessing that Owlman must clearly be a take on Batman instead of realizing that he's actually a take on the Blue Beetle. And in saying that I pretty much assured that I'm a huge nerd.

It clear that the internet is a silly silly place. Forget who watches the watchmen, who the hell keeps tabs on all these crazy ass fucks? I want to know who watches them and why they aren't being taken to a detention camp.