Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The War On Christmas Begins Today

The War On Christmas Begins Today

It's may be the end of September, but it doesn't seem to be too early to begin the war on Christmas that Christians love to claim is something Atheist or anyone else who doesn't believe in the silly concept that baby Jesus was born in a desert during winter on that CHRISTmas morning. A holiday I've got problems with it? let me tell you, all of them. Every single last one of them. But a war on one specific one? Nah, that's small fries.

As you will find out in this news piece, they're already claiming that the war on Christmas is on and the battleground is the state where the Alamo had it's last stand.. Texas
Proposal would delete 'Christmas' from 6th grade lesson

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - A proposal for new social studies curriculum in Texas public schools removes a mention of Christmas in a sixth-grade lesson, replacing it with a Hindu religious festival, a change that's riled conservatives who say it's another battle in the "war" against the Christian holiday.

"It's outrageous that the war on Christmas continues in our state and in our nation," said Jonathan Saenz, a lobbyist for the conservative Free Market Foundation. "This effort to mislead students about current society is shameful and must be stopped."

The draft proposal being considered by the State Board of Education won't be formally adopted until next May for the 2011-2012 school year. The standards will remain in place for the next decade, dictating what is taught in government, history and other social studies classes in elementary and secondary schools. The standards also will be used to develop state tests and by textbook publishers who develop material for the nation based on their largest market, Texas.

The standards currently instruct sixth-grade students to be able to explain the significance of religious holidays such as the Christian holidays of Christmas and Easter, the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, and the Jewish holidays of Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. The proposal, which is set to be debated during a hearing next week, removes the words Christmas and Rosh Hashanah. Diwali, a Hindu festival, is added.
How dare we try to get students to learn a little bit about religious festivals from cultures other than their own at the expense of giving them the trivially simple assignment of explaining the significance of something from their own culture! How dare we do that!

I wish I could sign up for an actual war on Christmas and other corporate consumerist 'Christian' Holidays. While my girlfriend may not like it, I still don't dig Valentine's Day and Easter? Fuck that Holiday. I'm going to be celebrating a Birthday around Easter. No time for a stupid bunny to steal that thunder.

To be honest, we wouldn't have to start the war on Christmas so early if they wouldn't start Christmas so early. It's not even Halloween and I'm seeing some places pop up with festive cheerful things already.

How the hell could they claim persecution? As a member of the world's largest religion, how can you feel your rights are being trodden upon? I'm curious as to what history these Christians are referring to that makes Christmas their holiday? It's just the standard winter festival, only they attached the birth of Jesus to it, which never made sense because a kid born in the desert just sounds like one frozen dead baby. It's pretty clear that it's the same date as the Roman winter festival

Christians only really started getting heavy recently, just over the last 100 years-plus, basically since Dickens. I guess the whole Ghost thing got to him. In the early colonial days, celebrating Christmas was still illegal in some parts of the BUILT ON CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES U.S., because people would get shitfaced and start tearing shit up. And I don't mean their gift wrapping..

What's funny is this is more or less how it's always been and exactly what happened in the late 19th Century. Christmas had always been secondary to East in the Christian calendar and mostly a holiday to get drunk and party hard. Then in the late 18oo's, the "reason for the season" stuff started, but it was completely different from how it is now.

For proof of this, just look at the most famous example of literature from the era, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. A novel which specifically denounces capitalism and has its protagonist redeem himself by becoming a socialist. I think it's a pretty big slap to the face that there's such a commercial holiday to it now.

Why would they teach Christmas in a history course anyway? High school English classes aren't teaching the bible, although it is an important literary work to the religious type. That has to be some war against Christians as well, right? The bible is the most god awful novel around. They might as well teach John Grisham novels in school.

This is all just another problem caused by trying to create a universal public education system instead of letting parents choose where to send their kids. Oh wait, the universal health care debate isn't this blog.. Sorry, it sort of melts altogether with me.

If I were president, my first act would be to bomb all walmarts with cruise missiles at 6:15AM, Friday after thanksgiving. This would solve so many problems. Such as killing poor people that partake in consumerist holidays when they clearly can't afford them.

I'm only going to be buying my relatives charity donations for Christmas and only asking for books anyway. I'll more than likely be wearing a Dawkins shirt for the entire season for shits and giggles.

Don't even tell me it's a reason for family togetherness. That's the part I hate most about Christmas. It sucks having your family guilt trip you into driving or flying hundreds of miles to see them for a few days when you'd be much happier relaxing at home or going somewhere with someone whose company you actually enjoy and do something fun while everyone else is stuck with their family.

How about if you really cared about your family you just have the same togetherness the rest of the year without having to rely on a commercialized Holiday one day out of the year just so you could check "made awkward small talk with blood relatives" off your list.

One would wonder, if you want to wage war on Christmas, what would be the first step?
1. Kill God
2. ?
3. Did you kill God yet?

Let me tell you what the calendar looks like for that time of year;

Liberal atheist agenda for 12/25

09:00am-War on Christmas
11:00am-War on Kwanzaa
12:30am-Lunch with Janice
01:30pm-War on Chanukkah

It's not like I'm sending Christmas an unending rain of mortar fire, exploding tree shrapnel and manger scene fragments everywhere hitting civilians with cheer. You don't see me slapping some economic sanctions on Christmas first in an attempt to work something out.

I have to say, most Holidays celebrated in America are boring as fuck. Shit like Dia De Los Muertos and Holi are way cooler than anything we celebrate. Arbor day? Flag day? What a bunch of loser holidays. Dia De Los Muertos: awesome bread, sugar skulls, serious reflection on life and death. Halloween: Free candy to keep our children fat and 'sexy' costumes as an excuse to dress like a slut. Seriously, dress like a slut everyday, I will be the first to tell you that I wont mind. Fuck halloween, Dia De Los Muertos owns

But I guess the American economy would be decimated without Christmas, so a war on Christmas is a WAR ON AMERICA! That's right you non-Christmas celebrating heathens, you're terrorist of the worse kind. All of you!

Holidays are just the government telling you when you can go on a three day bender. I shouldn't have to get permission from big brother to get shit faced for three days. So fuck it, let the war begin. I'm ready to practice a scorched earth sort of strategy. Ho ho Fuckin' Ho!

No comments: