Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A Problem With Spam

A Problem With Spam

Since this blog is so popular, you know I have to go through a lot of reader e-mails a day. And while I make it a task to constantly answer everything you folks send me, because I love all my fans just the same.

Every once in a while I get a strange e-mail and well, I don't know how exactly it got into my mail box. Mainly because I don't consider myself to be a source of actual USEFUL information. Let's take a look at what someone sent me in the mail:

Subj: GMail being filled up with spam

Lately (in the past week) I've been inundated with crap from people who want to sell me a new mortgage, or elongate my penis, or sell the SlapChop. Did someone figure out how to bypass the Google spam filter or what? I've had 4 spam mails in the last half hour selling cell phones to Viagra, or wanting me to sign up for a credit report or try out the newest vacuum cleaner from China.

I've searched this and there are plenty of people bitching about it, so I know that some scalawag didn't just add me to a bunch of shitty mailing lists. What the hell is up?

Why hey, Billy. I would like to answer your question. Why? Because it seems that I have the same problem with unwanted mail in my mail box. But I think I can come up with some sort of solution. Or at least use your e-mail, which I'm sure was not meant to be sent to me in the first place, be answered in some fashion.

Billy, to be fair, your penis IS pretty short. So maybe those unwanted penis extensions may not be wanted, they are still useful. And if they didn't work, do you think they would advertise for them?

Are you seriously complaining about spam on the internet? Are you new to the world of computers and interwebbing? I've been spam free for about three years now. You are clearly doing something wrong. That wrong is giving your e-mail address to fake porn sites. No, that would require some level of self control. I'm sure you're just logging on to too many Hentai sites. If you want, I can give your e-mail out to the blogging community so they can fix you up with some anti-spam sites.

Is pressing "Delete all spam" that difficult? I know I have no problem deleting everything and anything. Especially those important e-mails from the bosses that are filled with helpful notes for scripts.

I guess with that I'll end this helpful hint on deleting your spam. If you have any questions, you know where to address them... That brick wall right over there.

No comments: