Thursday, June 11, 2009

Miss Atom 2009

Miss Atom 2009

Here she comes... Miss Atom! Yes. There's a new Miss Atom. While I couldn't give two shits about the fate of Miss America, Universe or any other small time pagnent winners, it's all about the smallest.. Miss Atom! I'm a nerd, remember. This sort of thing appeals to me. Then again, I'm a warm blooded male so you shouldn't be surprised that Boobs appeal to me.

Oh yeah, news story link.

The results are in: Yekaterina Bulgakova, a sporty 25-year-old, snared first place in Miss Atom 2009, the annual beauty contest for the Russian nuclear industry. She wins a weeklong holiday in the socialist paradise of Cuba.

Alyona Kirsanova of Novovoronezh edged her way into third place. She wins a vacation in Croatia. Молодец!

This year’s Miss Atom contest garnered a fair amount of press, although the organizers had to contend with allegations of sexism and exploitation. This year, the anti-nuclear crowd even countered with its own beauty contest, The Environmentals.

While the Miss Atom website may have been toned down a bit, the contest gave us an intriguing look inside Russia’s nuclear complex, courtesy of contestants like Anna Matveyeva (pictured here), who received this year’s prize for "best debut." She wins a next-gen mobile phone.

Frankly, I'm going as green as I can and I'm saying it's not easy to be green when there's nuclear babes like this! It must be something in the water. So instead of some thought provoking piece, I'm just going to sum this blog up with poorly thought out and increasingly strained metaphors involving "splitting" to illustrate how much I'd enjoy sex with her, if you catch my drift.

So yeah, I'd like to Split her atoms! Though I set myself up for a "you have a dick small enough to split an atom!" Comments..

I'd like to bury my face in her higgs-bosom

I'd like to generate some HEU in her centerfuge

She didn't get disqualified. Just mutated.

I would prefer to fuse her nuclei with mine
(wait, that sounds like i'm impregnating her, to hell with that)

Well, I would still like to fuse our bathing suit areas

I'd make her roleplay with me as subatomic particles and then she'd be all "did you come" and i'd be all "maybe"

I think I beat that to it's nuclear core... So congrats Yekaterina Bulgakova. I'm sure you'll enjoy your vacation in the lovely and beautiful Cuba. I wouldn't know what it looks like since all I see of Cuba is the "90 miles to" marker on the edge of the Florida Keys.

I'm sure that the bread lines there wont be as bad simply because you wont have to wait in the snow for them. As you can tell, I wasted my A-material on the stupid metaphors. Oh well, what can I say, I'm away from home. Can't expect the top material while I'm out.

No comments: