Friday, June 12, 2009

The Penis Mightier Than The Sword

The Penis Mightier Than The Sword

I keep coming across this ad on the internet and it got to the point that I had to say something about it. You know, I can usually ignore stuff like this for so long before my gut reaction to make some stupid comment just seems to be in my face.

Let's take a look at the strangeness of this advertisement.

I know what you're thinking. "WHAT THE FUCK.... That queen is pretty young!" I know I was thinking just that. I mean, look at her. she doesn't even look a day over 20, can she legally drink mead? Well, I guess at that age she would be going through her mid-life crisis. That biological clock would be ticking on how long she has to find a good prince and settle down before she dies at the ripe old age of 24.

Most importantly, what's u with the sword pointing at her breast? I mean, the sword could be a penis. Well, let's be honest, All swords are penises. If we were a female-dominated species through history, we would see that all of our weapons would be shaed like vaginas. It's just a fact, people want to make their junk seem more powerful. I learned, in that one year of college level woman's studies that that was the cause with all pigs.. I mean men.

But the image goes deeper. You see, the queen is also a penis. It is a very complex image. Now, I don't even know what the product is that they're trying to sell to me. Is it some cheap knock off of WoW? If so, no thank you. I don't need swords pointing at tits to realize that I would not be getting any if I was playing WoW, let alone a cheap, Payless version of the game. I mean, where else am I going to find some tail...

I guess I could try the internet..

First off, if I met a christian single that looked like that.. I would be getting on my knees and well... not praying, that's for sure. Then I would just not bother dating her. I mean, it may look good on paper, but like communism, it wouldn't be nice to live through.

First off, she's hot and to not be able to have sex cause she's "christian" would be a crime against man, country and anything else that is right in this world. Not to mention that she looks like she's actually a porn star and this stupid TOGETHER CHRISTIAN company just took her image to attract and convert them desperate to get tail types. It's the classic bait and switch approach.

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