I still don't get it. My body understands that Chipotle is a dangerous thing to eat and every time I do so, there will be major issues in having to find a bathroom shortly after. Perhaps the stomach knows that I'm feeding it essentially poorly handled food because yet another goddamn sickness has broken out with the company.
Over 700 inquiries have been filed with the local health authorities in Delaware County, Ohio, and after more than 500 interviews and several stool samples, they … have no leads.No, you know why they are getting sick? Because it's fucking Chipotle. The only reason folks don't lose gain weight and attribute it to a weight loss due to the food is because they all get fucking sick and have to shit out 10 pounds of their innards after eating there. It's not so much that you're negating the effects of eating a 1k calorie burrito. It's that you're beyond sick for the next few days that you can't keep down solid foods.
Tests have come back negative for the usual suspects, including salmonella, shigella, E. coli, and norovirus. Could it possibly be a new bug? Maybe it’s a germ that aliens sent to Earth to kill us all through our burrito habits, and our civilization will soon collapse? Really, anything is possible at this point.
It's a goddamn cleanse and I don't get why folks continue to go there. When Jack in the box gave some one E.Coli back in the 90's, the chain was almost going to collapse in on itself. Now it's the weekly special at Chipotle. I just don't understand. Do you think that shitting uncontrollably is a normal thing when you eat Mexican food? Look, Montazoma's revenge isn't actually a real thing that you want to happen.
Maybe I will just never understand why folks keep going to this place for their Mexican fix. It's not particularly good. It's like a line service of slop plopped down on a burrito for your enjoyment, I guess. I don't know. I will never know. All I can say is that the local roach coach you stigmatized for decades makes a better burrito that won't get you sick at half the price.
And now... this.
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