NO AC

NO AC

I cannot live another day without air conditioning! Says tomorrow is going to be hotter. You know, just like the other day and the other week and well, fuck it's a goddamn heat wave! 

Oh sears!


It's really wild how much mileage Sears got out of that one commercial. Especially now that we're suffering global warming. Then again, they have been running this ad for a solid 20 years now. Even more exciting is that looking at that house, it's pretty swanky. Come on, dude. You totally should get that air conditioning unit. Especially if I had one in my home and that was a total dump.

But let's say if you don't have AC. What the hell are you doing these days? The weather is fucking brutal lately. I guess you can just imagine that you are a pioneer on the trail west. Or perhaps you can take some wash cloths and a small towel, get them moist and then throw them in the freezer for a solid 30 minutes. I say go for the big time, take them out when you want to cool off and put it on your head all flying nun style. It'll cool you down a lot.  It's super cheap, it's super effective and it'll make you look so stupid! So many wins!

Once it gets warm, moisten it again, throw it in the freezer and pull out a previous one and there you go. forever cycle through them. It's the cheap and affordable way to have AC. There's other great free or nearly free ways to enjoy AC. For example, you can go to the movies. I mean, not with MOviePass. That ship has sailed on free AC. It's actually what probably killed MoviePass. The heat wave and clearly unsustainable business models.

I wouldn't go to Starbucks to sit down and enjoy the AC, even though you can do it without ordering somethings now, but if you do it while being a minority, you're still probably going to get bothered. So again, totally a good AC option unless you're of color and you just want all the starbucks in the country to close down for another two hours.

They also say that hot showers cool you down more than a cold one. So by that logic, boil some water and pour it upon your persons.  Feel the cool. Over all, we're a generation of soft ass babies and I wouldn't have it any other way. AC and indoor plumbing is something I wonder how people survived without. Especially during this particular heatwave.

To be fair, I wrote this piece a few weeks ago and just post dated it. I'm pretty sure that it's still hot as fuck... cause, you know, global warming and all. So fuck it, we are all going to die anyway. Just a matter of time before the sun crashes down on this Earth in an explosion.

At this point Neil jumps in and corrects me that the sun will expand out but we'll all be dead long before that ever happens. I'm sad to be missing such a cosmic event.