ONE SPICY MEATBALL

ONE SPICY MEATBALL

I don't usually go to Subway because I generally don't like to support the arts and sandwich artist just seems like the worst of the liberal arts degrees that you can get. But I found myself hungry and decided to go in to one and made the mistake of getting a meatball sub. Probably the worst choice you can make at Subway.

Why, you ask? Well, I don't know if I fully grasp the concept of math, but you have a 12'' subway sandwich and you put only 8  1'' meatballs in to it, wrap it up into the paper and give it to me like some child who is proud of their shitty crayon drawn piece of art? I'm sorry, but you can go fuck yourself.

You should have taken a couple more math classes in between your liberal arts degree. And for those who aren't understanding the joke, for a while subway employees were called Sandwich artist. Okay, let's move on.

This shit sort of makes you wonder what sort of scam Subway is trying to pull on you. I mean, the scam already is that the sandwiches really aren't that good and holy hell, are they not healthy by any means after you dumped a shit ton of sugar filled sauces and other crap along the way to the finish line in making it. Sure, not Chipotle levels of unhealthy, but still enough to wonder what the fuck were you thinking when you assumed you'd have a healthy lunch option going here.

Yes, I am aware that I'm being a fussy eater here. I mean, it all literally ends up turning to shit. But I had half a mind to give them a stern look and yell  "BALLS!" at them in increasingly louder voices until they put at least two more of those saucy bitches on my foot long. I don't care if this whole 8 ball policy comes down all the way from Subway corporate, I demand satisfaction.

Oh, some of you will point out that you need room for the marinara sauce and cheese. But come the fuck on, that lava mild liquid can't possibly occupy the space of four meatballs. I am also aware that if you put four more meatballs on it, it'll sort of be a precarious situation of having a meatball go over the cliff. I say to you, challenge accepted.



This leads to a bigger question that I should have asked about at the time. Subway offers double meat options for an increased amount of cash, I wonder if they have attempted to do a double meat option for meatballs. I did discover that you are allowed to add meatballs to any cold cut sandwich.  Sure, inexperienced sandwich artist may not know how to tackle this strange feat, but if you are compelled enough, you can argue with them and fight it up the chain of command all the way up to corporate.

They will relent and provide your food desire needs. Even if they try to rip you off on the fact that you get only 8 balls for your 12'' sandwich. This is like the whole 8 buns for 12 hot dog wieners situations that grocery stores have been behind this entire time. I just wonder where it will all stop. Who will stop all this madness?!