LASIK - TOTALLY A TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE

LASIK - TOTALLY A TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE

I mean, let's be honest there. The first time someone told me they could shoot a laser into my eye and it would fuck up some sort of thing in there causing me to not only see a 100%, but even better, I just knew this was some sort of Twilight Zone bullshit where the consequences would come back to bite me in the long run. Because let's just be real - if someone sounds too good to be true, it fucking is.

Turns out that the science of LASIK, 20 years after it started may very well be just that episode of Twilight Zone you are thinking about. Or for that matter, I guess Black Mirror. Only less about technology, god, why does that show just want to be about how technology will just fuck over society. We have no problem doing that all on our own, if you ask me.

Back to the laser shooting into your eye hole. Yeah, so it turns out that there's some negatives now that we have had a span of 20 years to really examine the long term effects of, again, shooting a goddamn laser into your eye socket. Who thought that idea was of any promise for anything?

But sure enough, every year, 700,000 folks just are sick of wearing glasses and getting called 4-eyes, and turn to Lasik to get that non strained eye sight back. And I'll describe this in detail, but how it works is simple. Given that our eyes work like camera lens, in that the cornea is a dome like prism that focus the light on the back of the surface of the eye and your mind makes of that what it will, if you're near sighted or farsighted, your eye isn't able to focus the light as well and thus, you need glasses to help in that process of making a clearer picture for your mind to unravel.

Also, Lasik stood for Laser assisted In Situ Keratomileusis. which, I mean, isn't really important and doesn't matter in the slightest, but I figured I would be informative while telling you that your pew pew in your peepers operation is probably going to make you bleed out of your eyes in 40 years. Though, the whole process from the get go sounds horrific and there's a reason why I'll just wear my geeky looking glasses.

You see, they cut a thin flap on the surface of your eye and fold it back to allow access to a laser that reshapes the cornea. It's only natural that if you slice a piece of your eye, there will be some negative side effects, what the fuck were you thinking? The effects are pretty instant. About 50-60% of all patients have glare, halos and double vision as a common symptom. Some even saying it's extremely bothersome. You don't say.

One patient who had their surgery in 2006 said that it left her feeling like she had paper cuts in her eyes. Fuck that, give me glasses any day of the fucking week over that shit. But then again, this is just the short term. It has only been 20 years and I'm sure there will be long term lasting effects of slicing your eye like that like a moron.

Anyhow, maybe I'm wrong and the special powers one gets in 50 years after the operation will allow them some super powers. Probably not. Maybe this is less like twilight zone and more like 80's outer limits. that was a trip of a series. I mean, it had the A for effort but the sort of "I mean, you tried" speech of failure because even with that effort, it just wasn't the same. Can't strike that iron too many times long after it's hot, know what I'm saying. Just like you can't slice open eye ball layers and expect it to always go right.