A CAT NAMED TESSIE

A CAT NAMED TESSIE 

I didn't really call her that, but that was her name. It's one of those things where you name a cat and you think it's the proper name for the moment, but then over time the cat basically tells you that their name is wrong and, well they give themselves another name through their actions. In this case, through her voice.

For the majority of her life I called her Cheapies. Mainly because she was a talkative cat that sounded like she was chirping at you. Very shrill and very much constant. She was very talkative. I guess it was a mixture of Tessie and Chirping. Either way, she was one hell of a fluffy cat and today she passed away.

She was the second female that came out of Helena, the first very pregnant cat I ever brought in. She had three other siblings. Kurt, Indiana and Stout. I found stout a good home and last I heard, he's a very fat and sassy scareddy cat that is living life up. Indiana was the one I grafted as my very own little sidekick buddy and if you look a bit back in November, he passed away recently as well. Kurt... Kurt was constantly sick, and I would have sworn that she would have died the first out of all the kittens. Yet she's gunning for that outlast award.

Tessie and Kurt were, when at a right few months age, adopted out to a family with two young girls who both wanted a kitten. I thought that was the perfect situation and that it was a right fit. About a few months later, the father told me when I was checking in on how they were getting on with the cats that they were just not ready for two cats like that and it sounded like they were about to abandon both Kurt and Tessie. So I took them back and looked for homes for them again. Tessie ended up staying with me through the rest of her life.

She was a fluff ball. The cat had always had a lot of fur. Out of the kittens, both her and Indiana looked very much like their cat daddy, the first stray cat that started my journey into cat salvation. Charlie. Charlie was a stray that for some reason, I guess I had food and all, but he just grafted himself on to me as his person. Maybe I gave him food just at the time he needed it the most to survive. Anyhow, if he saw me on the street, he would run at me at full speed to just get to me and hang out. Even without food. The cat just loved me. I had attempted to domesticate him a little and make him an indoors cat to join the other two I had, but he was having none of it. He would sleep all day inside but demand to be let out once he was done with the free room and board. He passed away soon after these kittens were born due to a dog.

So Tessie and Indiana reminded me a lot of Charlie. Now I don't have any that have the link to Charlie like that and I'm just bummed about the whole thing in general. I'm not sure what was wrong with Tessie, but it very much seems like organ failure as she was having a bit of difficulty using the bathroom, and when she did last night, I noticed a lot of blood in it. I was about to get her to the vet to check her out, but she passed away before I could.

Part of me feels like I'm failing this cat community I'm helping. That hopeless and helpless feeling is there in a big way. I lost another in my colony and it's just a bit tough to be able to take in right now. It had been about two months since the last one passed. I mean, I guess it's a matter that when you take care and look after so many cats, that the law of averages will eventually drop on you the misfortune of losing them. Currently, well, the amount of cats I feed just seems like if I said anything, I'd feel like a crazy cat lady.... man. or whatever the term is for a dude that just feeds too many fucking animals.

I had Tessie in my life for more than 10 years and as much as I found her a home, it didn't stick and she would somehow end up coming back to me more mentally fucked up than whens he left. People can be jerks. The cat was loud but she was all heart. She was probably one of the most cuddly because of the massive amount of fluff that she had. During winter and even summers I had to basically cut fur off her paws and brush her a lot. Indiana had thicker fur, but Tessie was all sorts of fluff.

She answered to her name and was very talkative. She was a good cat and I'm really sad about the loss of her in my life. I mean, this now means I have a less insane number of cats in my colony. But after the past six months of having an incredible amount of loss in the pets I took care of, it really has shaken me to the core about my ability to protect anything or anyone I care for.  

She had organ problems and even after the medication I had been giving her, her health had be degradation to the point where when I took her to the vet due to a lot of blood in her in stool they told me that at this point she's suffering more than anything else, so the only time i ever think of euthanizing and well, it was tough. Over the last year she had lost a lot of fur and was a short haired girl. I guess that was a clear sign that her health was on the decline.

I will say this, stay with your pets when they put them down like that. It's scary as hell for them and, well.. being there for them in the final moments is the least you can do to repay the years they were your pet.

I'll miss you Cheapsie. You were an awesome one.

This one's for you Tessie...