COSTCO FOOD COURT THROW DOWN

COSTCO FOOD COURT THROW DOWN

Sometimes I wait in the costco food court wondering if I'm going to get the hot dog or a slice of pizza. I mean, if it's pizza, that's another three option choice on which one. Cheese is clearly the one with the most cheese. And if it's fresh out of the oven, that cheese can be very gooey and also very much a top of your mouth lava beast that you do not want any part of.

Then you have pep. look, I love that greasy meat as much as the next guy, but half the time some are scorched to hell, some are just meh also. The combo can be a mixed bag cause if it's not really warm, it just sucks as those top toppings don't have it going on. That's three choices in the pizza department.

The hot dog does also come with a cup for soda refills. The trick with this is to get the dog before going in to the costco in order to eat while you shop, thus preventing you from buying a bulk size of some instant gratification food, while also allowing you to get a refill on that soda on the way out. Two for one, bang. the smart way.

There's another factor to include. Calorie count. With the new year it means folks are all about counting them in order to reach that new year, new you resolution goals. Costco has all the calories listed on the board in a very big way. So I mean, you can't just turn your blind eye to that shit. They also have a large sign that states how many calories the average person should have per day. So you're kind of like.. whoa, thanks a lot for reminding me that I'm a fucking slob, Costco. Didn't really appreciate that being THAT real, ya know.

Sometimes when I feel like a bad ass I just go up to the window and tell them

"HMmmmm, eah. lemme get a combo slice, a chicken bake, and... *smirks* gotta have that hot dog as well."

only to have the frightened and shaking Costco food slinger hesitantly punch all that in and say

"Sir, are you sure... that's like... a million calories right there"

To which the only answer is "Toss in a churro for good measure"