I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD BE BACK IN THE ER THIS SOON

I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD BE BACK IN THE ER THIS SOON

I mean, to be honest, no one does. Who fucking thinks that they're going to repeat a shitty experience so soon after. You factor in that you're out of the woods and on to the next thing. Rehab took forever and you're on to just getting maybe not 100% but... I mean, close, right?  I mean fuck, the physical therapist even stated that walker time was over and 100% was more than likely.

Well, I stayed most of my night last night again in the USC county medical E.R. like I did just slightly a day or two over a month ago. My mother, in her overconfidence in how she was recovering, got a little too cocky and she ended up slipping and falling in the morning hours. Go paramedics to come over and help her up. They gave her the all clear and put her in bed as just a small accident over a chord or something. Well, nope. getting out of bed, I imagine that fall affected something as she fell again.

I noticed she wasn't as surefooted as she was the day before and had her stand up with the walker, but she was not very good at it and I started seeing that she was getting numbness on her left arm and leg, and well, that was a worry in itself. I thought maybe the new pacemaker was an issue. I don't know, I mean, let's be honest, I go through so many scenarios in my head on just about anything at any given time to come up with a solution anyway, this was no different.  Stroke? Not really all the signs. Her face and speech pattern is still not a problem. Heart Attack? The left arm would be a tell but there was nothing else going on for that.

In fact, I just went down all the potentials and couldn't figure out why she was having so much motor skill issues. I wanted to get her to the hospital. Especially since it may have looked like her ankle was pretty limp and she was standing on it a lot. She put up a fight. She didn't want to go, and for good reason. She had just been released from a shitty rehab spot where the food was bad and the scenario was equally so. She was at that lke 90% healed up spot and to get dragged back down would be hell. But man, I felt like I was an asshole for trying to and she fought me tooth and nail. But eventually I just had to call the paramedics yet again and get her to the E.R. where I sat. and sat.

Neurologist came in and it seems that blood takes a rather long time to dry in your head, and the two falls in the day could have contributed to a sort of new internal bleeding, however small, that could have fucked up the nerve system issue where she was getting seizures like movements.  I mean, I know how it feels to not have full control of your body. I'm sure the check is in the mail for my own personal health care issues in the next ten years. But still, this sucked ass. Even more so because I felt like I was doing more harm by forcing her to go to the hospital when she just wanted to go lay down and see how she felt in the morning.

I honestly couldn't take that risk. You know, I have to also say that I'm a bit proud of myself for taking the shit that has come at me these past few weeks, and the shittiness that happened with losing Tessie with as much taking it on the chin and trying to move forward. Yeah, sorry, I just need to pat myself on the back a little and acknowledge that I can survive. Because holy shit.... what the fuck. I mean, I still have my hope for you 2019, but you basically acting like a little problem child right now.

Anyhow, yeah. So back in the waiting room for a long time. Add the complexity, some family from Mexico was stopping by to see how my mother was when the second fall sort of played itself out and well, I basically had to juggle them in the E.R. and getting them back and well, it was a whole big thing for the entire night. So much so that I didn't eat until around 3 int he morning, and I'm still waiting for a room to be open. Apparently Wednesday was the day to go to the E.R.  or something.

So yeah, it's basically a wait and see what exactly is causing the issue in her head. This sucks, but I feel good that she got observed and the anti-seizure medication to prevent the potential of more because.. yeah, last night was rough.

Pretty damn rough.