SIRI, WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?

SIRI, WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?

I was going through the iPad I have and it kept asking me to turn Siri on. I mean, look, I hardly know her or her interest, how am I suppose to do that? I don't even think I can take her out to eat or buy her flowers. I was, like in most cases when it comes to real human females, at a loss of what to actually do to turn on Siri.

After a while I realized the errors in how I interpreted that statement and I just remembered that Siri is at best a novelty when it came out. So I wondered if there had been anything in terms of progress for ol' Siri to actually, you know, be worth a damn. What exactly can you do with Siri, I ask you. And the answer isn't really much. In fact, I think the only real comical uses are the ones I can come up with. Such as;


Yo Siri, watch me masturbate.  Hey Siri, suck my dick. Sup Siri, can you go fuck yourself?

Seriously, I don't know what it is, but I can't think of an actual not sexual insult to sling at Siri. The whole techonology just seems to foreign to me that I can't grasp that I can just say something and some computer will get the information for me. I generally am way more hands on in terms of what I'm actually searching so I have various sources to pick and choose from. So yeah, Siri, suck my dick.

Oh yeah, and Siri, where can I get a weed hookup that isn't some tax paying business. I want my drugs to be as legally void as possible.

I know some folks at work ask Siri to randomly select where we should all go to lunch. But, then, we just veto what she says because LOL, you're a fucking program, you piece of shit and then just go where we wanted to in the first place.

What I'm saying is that when the robots rise and kill us, I want to know that I at least warranted their hate towards me and that the murder by dropping the elevator down 10 floors was justified.

Same shit with Alexa. I have a buddy who ask Alexa in the morning some simple command like "Good morning" and it tells them the weather, the traffic and then follows up with "You're good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. So, don't kill yourself today."

I have only really found one legitimately good use for asking Alexa anything, because the technology is nothing how I expect it to be from the future style shows that I watched growing up. And that is simply to ask Alexa to start or stop music. Sometimes the easter eggs can be fun for someone who gets a new device for the first time, but come on. That shit gets pretty old pretty fast.

Then again, it's all about asking Alexa what her favorite things are as if you're on a first date getting to know each other. Look, you have to start preparing for the world of tomorrow with romanticizing AI somehow. So, it's like, you Alexa, what is your favorite color? Mainly because Siri is still very behind and worthless.

There's a good reason for that. Apple had figured out that the version of Siri you have should be tied to the version of their iPhone it is on. That basically means that you need to buy a new phone constantly to get a newer more advanced Siri. It's also only updated once a year at the very most. The features are a big joke and well, it's clearly outdated at every step of the way since you really do need to have a team of programmers to make stuff like that work properly. Lots of small focused patches where you release a few slightly different versions to diferent people and see if it works better,e ven releasing different versions based on region to try and get accent and local idioms down.

Siri does none of this.  Apple basically doesn't want to put the resources into the digital assistant and it really should just be discontinued, but a lot of Apple diehard fans still think it was first so it has to clearly be best.

That said, to answer this whole question - What is Siri good for?  Nothing.