THE NICE GUY SYNDROME

THE NICE GUY SYNDROME 

OH, I'm sure you have heard it a million times. Someone self proclaiming that they are a nice guy and they don't know why it always comes and bites them in the ass in life and how unfair it is and that the jerks and assholes of the world get ahead while they are stuck in places like "the friend zone" or just get taken advantage of and walked all over.

I'll throw it out there and say you're mistaking and using the word nice guy wrong. What you are is someone who doesn't have the drive to do the work to achieve what you want. If you're getting walked over, that's because you allow yourself to get taken to a point where you weren't at the cost of getting what you wanted. When you don't receive the transaction value of what you put out, then you say you were ripped off and start feeling taken advantage of.

I'll let you in on a little secret, that's not being a nice guy. That's actually just acting like a nice person when your real intent is pretty clear and you're obviously looking for an exchange for your services of being a not really nice person. You are selling a fake bill of goods. Stop acting and just do. If you aren't being kind to others for the sake of being kind to others, then you're not doing it right. You only acted that way because you wanted something. If that's who you are genuinely and it's pretty fucking disgusting.

Patton Oswalt recently got a simple attack by some random person on twitter and instead of making ti a whole flame war back and forth, he did a little dive into the guy's past and saw a lot of medical issues and instead of making it a war, he posted the dude's gofundme link and had a simple message that "he's been dealt some shitty cards - let's deal him some good ones"   you see that, that's being  a nice guy. It's being able to keep it as a joke in life but also realizing when someone needs help and for no real reason other than it makes you feel good and it is the right thing to do, you do it. 

So just stop calling yourself one of the nice guys. You're ruining the concept that there's actually folks out here that do live their life like that without the need for something in exchange.