The Not-So-Manchurian Candidate

The Not-So-Manchurian Candidate

Once Obama was elected I was worried that some racist moron would take a shot at him. So much in fact that I put him on my 2009 dead pool list. Well, I was right. Mostly about the moron part. It seems like only morons are trying to kill the president.

Capitol Police have arrested a man on Tuesday afternoon who said he had a delivery for President Obama and a rifle.

Obama was aboard Air Force One at the time of the incident.

Let's be fair and balanced here and look at other news sources on this piece. It really can't be as open and shut as this report is stating. I mean.. what kind of moron is this guy?

Politico wrote:

Capitol Police spokeswoman Kimberly Schneider says the man did not make an explicit threat against the president. -- (6:35 p.m.)

More details on Capitol Hill arrest: The man walked up to a "birdcage," one of the Capitol Police guard shacks in the driveway. When challenged for identification, the man was "talking funny," according to a CP officer. Police asked whether he had any weapons, he told them that he had a .22 caliber rifle. -- John Bresnahan (5:56 p.m.)

Capitol police have arrested a man on the Hill who said he had a delivery for President Obama and a rifle. -- Josh Gerstein (5:30 p.m.)

AFP wrote:

The man drove up to the barricade at about 4 p.m. EST and "told us he had a delivery for President Obama," said Sergeant Kimberly Schneider.

Under questioning, "he admitted to having a rifle" in his truck, prompting officers to arrest him and take him to capitol police headquarters, where charges against him were pending, Schneider told AFP.

CNN wrote:

Sgt. Kimberly Schneider identified the man as Alfred Brock, 64, of Winnfield, Louisiana. She said Brock was charged with possession of an unregistered firearm and unregistered ammunition.

I think the better way to report this is "Area Man Gets Drunk, Arrested". Well. Let's not jump to conclusions. Elvis did bring Nixon a handgun. Now if only he'd use it on himself... I'm really glad that everyone who wants to kill Obama is terrible and shitty at assassination.

This does strike the same cord as the fundie who tried to blow up an abortion clinic by running a car full of gas cans into the side wall. Only he failed to take into account the fact that contrary to Hollywood stereotypes, gas isn't an explosive.

He did more damage to his car than the building.

I would hope any would-be assassin's are as competent as the current lot. Hell, this guy didn't even have the idea to check if Obama was home. It was all over the news that Obama was in Florida. You'd think these assassins would put some thought into these things.

Its pretty disgusting people actually want to assassinate him though. They could use pretty much any black guy as a body double since the type of person who would assassinate Obama probably can't tell them folks apart.

I have to wonder what he's going to do with a .22 rifle, even if he could get anywhere close to the white house? Shoot some of the squirrels?

How did this guy think he was going to carry out his cunning plan anyway? really wonder how that guy thought this was all going to go down:

"Why hello there constable! got a delivery for our swarthy commander in chief! Why yes my usual means of delivery conveyance is at the mechanics, leaving me with this rusty 1987 Ford F-150 as a backup for my important deliveries! Ho ho now why would a deliveryman like myself carry around 'weapons' that's the silliest thing I've heard all day _{shut up shut up shut up Alfred just stick to the plan it's airtight}"

I guess we're going to have to deal with poorly planned assassinations until the next batch of disgruntled marines come back from deployment. It does make me wonder what happened to the good ol' days when people had some creativity behind it.

Hell, with Clinton someone tried to crash a plane into the White House. But then, back in the heady 90's, people had gumption. Even he did crash into a tree instead of hitting the Clinton's bedroom as planned.

I kinda liked the guy who just straight up stormed the White House with a shotgun under the Clinton Administration and actually got a decent way through the grass area before getting taken down. That was a dude who could get things done; what kind of things I don't think even he was sure, but hey.

Jack Handey Said it best:

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

So with that in mind, have a safe (more than likely going to be safe with morons like this being the cream of the crop in assassination attempts) Presidents Day. Now I'm not sure if this is one of those fake Government only holidays or if you're suppose to be out back manning the grill. How about you do a little bit of both. In that you should man the grill while working on your government job.