Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Living Dead Guy - Your Worse Nightmare

Living Dead Guy - Your Worse Nightmare

Oh man, if there's one thing you should have been thankful for this past Thanksgiving was for the ability to be in control of your own body. Pray to Jesus on his Birthday that you're never in this (now resolved as fake) situation. Not everyone can say that they are always in control on what their body does, especially not this guy, that for 20 years lived stuck in his body.
A Belgian man who doctors thought was in a coma for 23 years was conscious all along, it has been revealed.

Medical staff believed Rom Houben had sunk irretrievably into a coma after he was injured in a car crash in 1983.

The University of Liege doctor who discovered in 2006 that, although Mr Houben was paralysed, his brain was working, said the case was not unique.

"I was shouting, but no-one could hear me," Mr Houben, now 46, was quoted as saying by a German magazine.

According to Der Spiegel, Mr Houben, who can now communicate by using a special keyboard, has described how his body did not respond when he woke up after the accident. 'Second birth'

He has also said that he felt powerless as doctors and nurses tried to speak to him before giving up hope, and that he "dreamt the time away" as the years passed.

It was only in 2006 that a scan revealed that Mr Houben's brain was in fact almost entirely functioning.

"I will never forget the day they discovered me," Mr Houben was quoted as saying. "It was like a second birth."

Mr Houben's story was revealed in a paper written by Steven Laureys, a doctor at Liege University who wrote a recent paper that detailed the case.

In it, Mr Laureys said that in about 40% of cases in which people are classified as being in a vegetative state, closer inspection reveals signs of consciousness.
How is he not crazy? Oh no! Terri Schiavo, what did we do to you?!?! Wait a minute.. did we end up killing Terry Schiavo? Meh, there's "Vegitative state" and then there is "vegitative state with 3/4 of your brain liquified".

As for this dude.. could you imagine laying there for 23 years doing nothing? That would fucking suck! He's 46 and spent 23 of those years he could have been partying in paralysis. Half his life! What would I do if I was in his (now falsed) position?

The first thing I would type is a message saying "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...." continuing until the computer ran out of memory. Also, what is 23 years of "dreaming the time away" Like huff some nitrous while watching Forrest Gump.. I bet it's like that. Probably a lot like adult swim and paradox games. At least that's what it has been for me.

I once knew someone who knew a girl who went into a coma for 3 weeks after a bad car accident. During that time it was a big long dream in which she graduated college, got her Master's degree, met a man and married him, had two kids and buried her mother. Then she woke up and was all like "What happened?" I guess it's probably like The Next Generation where Piccard went to the lame world with a flute. There was also a House M.D. episode with MosDef that could be relating to this.

My next question is How do I make sure they kill me if this happens? The answer? Live somewhere without Universal Health Care. Bazinga! The real way is to put a DNR in your living will. Though living wills are dumb cause they have very little legal standing and if your family disagrees with what you want, they don't have to do it. This is why I usually give someone close to me the power of attorney with what I really want and is willing to do it. That or we could have those death panels kick into effect.

Do not resuscitate is mostly for the crazy peeps who feel that cpr = playing god. It's not really something that normal people should really think about. Ha.. nah. not really, that's complete wrong. Sometimes I just post bullshit to see if someone will call me on it. I like to keep you on your toes.

The guy probably devoted a whole year just thinking of funny new accents to say 'Fuck my life' repeatedly. I would have devoted a whole month to thinking it in Mario's voice. Another 2 months or so trying to find a patter in the random little holes in the ceiling tiles. The best day of my life would be if they moved me to a different room.

Maybe his family came to visit him and possibly read him books or tried to talk to him in his state? Ha... yeah, I'm fucking with you again. More than likely the Doctors told his family that it was just a waste of their time since people in comas can never have any external stimulus at all. But what a trip. I mean, seriously, you get up and everyone has little computers they are talking into and it's unfucking believable. TV's are flat and we have flying cars.. Ok, maybe not the cars part. But you get the idea. It's like being in a real life Futurama!

After writing all this, I come to realize that it was all false. The wife or whatever was helping him type. I mean, come on. You're in a coma for 23 years and you wake up to a world of technology and you can pick up on a talking keyboard so easily and talk faster than stephen hawking? Yeah right. This basically was a lot like Weekend at Bernies. A very sad Weekend at Bernies. So more like Weekend at Bernie's II. The bigger question is now that this guy has been awakened from his dreams who will be the new No. 1?

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