Friday, December 18, 2009

More Things I Don't Want For Christmas - "Hip" Snuggies

More Things I Don't Want For Christmas - "Hip" Snuggies

In a continuing series of things I don't want, which I suppose is good for my girlfriend as I'm really difficult to shop for, maybe these things will weed out the potential BAD gifts from the Holiday season.

First up, we have something from Norway. Now, chances are no one will give me anything that is much harder than the local mall to purchase. But just in case, can I just say I do not want the following. You see, Norway is not only bad at giving their peace prizes out to war criminals (who don't even have Birth certificates), but they also make products that are worse than fucking snuggies. I bring to you the wonders of the One Piece

I'm not sure why you will want to look like a teletubbie or why you would want to completely cover your face with a zip up PJ, but I guess it's out there. Maybe you're looking to become homeless? I'm not very sure. I guess if you are homeless, this will keep you warm at night. But then I checked the exchange rate and this shit comes up to about $283.82 US to buy. If you have money like that to spend on this shit, you're not homeless and neither is anyone who is buying me anything, so please don't get me this for Christmas.

But on that subject of fake snuggies, I really don't want a snuggie in general. Not even that stupid Weezer Snuggie.

Why would they put their name on this? I do not know. I mean, maybe it's to be Ironic. Maybe not. I really can't tell. Is anything weezer does even good anymore? They're the band that has been pissing off their fan base since 2001, so it's not really clear what they are both thinking and doing. Take for example their partnership with Kenny G. What is with that?

If there's one thing I hate more than religious zealots is Kenny G. Growing up my father would always play Kenny G as he must have been some Ex-hippie who was really big on the concert scene and only translated it to Smooth Jazz. Kenny G would always release a holiday album. How many times can you cover the same song, I do not know. But god damn driving in the car with him at any point was a test of my resolve not to kill myself then and there.

So perhaps Weezer shouldn't be partnering up with my most hated entertainer. What does this have anything to do with potential gifts for me? I guess what I'm saying is snuggies, fake snuggies, weezer and Kenny G should all be off the list.

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